Vienna Wintercup 2009 - F&P report

Failand (Ed, Will, George, Dave and Rich) set off from Bristol in a good, healthy mood. We felt positive and alert. Things took a turn for the worse when the heating on the Ryanair flight was on 'high' and the women at the front would not turn it down. This became a serious issue when the man sitting behind Ed passed out into a very deep, feverish sleep. The announcement 'is anyone a doctor?' shortly followed. He was moved toward the front and laid out flat. Ever ready and helpful George provided a straw to allow liquid to enter the man's gullet. (I happened to have 4 thousand straws on me so it was no sacrifice.)

We landed in a dark and miserable Slovakia. Even the presence of the Euro has not cheered these people. A Mexican meal, an Irish pub and a Belgian beer later and we were heading off to sleep. On the way home Chalky was briefly kidnapped by a helpful local hoping to show us a good time. Having chased the local away by hurling snowballs and curses we went to bed.

After a night of snoring, sneezing, sniffing and sweating we jumped on the train to Vienna. Vienna is a great city with lots to see and do. However with the current economy our measly pound meant that we stuck to a walking tour of the centre. Lots of schnitzel, coffee and beer made for a lovely afternoon.

Back at the hostel we met Bob and changed into our evening wear (jeans, 2 t-shirts, a polo shirt and a gillet since you ask.) The evening social was at the 6stars beer factory. We arrived in style and set upon all 6 beers with gusto. The other teams were present and we were instructed by a man that Elvaston (winners 2006, 2007, runners up 2008) were bringing the fastest indoor bowler in the world. 'Nonsense' we cried slapping our thighs and raising our mugs. The man said that he would be surprised if any team gets 60 against them. We looked nervously at each other and then told the man to f*** off. We had more important things to worry about.

Handsome Shyam arrived and we we headed off into the night for ample preparation for our morning encounter with Elvaston. Our squad was now complete and much merriment was had.

Game day. Wake up, roll out of bed, scream as you realise you were on top bunk, wash, slip into electric green trousers and shirt unwashed since the summer, a light breakfast and off to the sports hall.Elvaston had already played and bowled a team out for 26. We elected to bowl first and went to warm up our cardboard carcasses. Failand bowled with a few nerves but the early wicket of the player of the tournament 2006 & 07 settled things. Good bowling Rich. A few too many extras, a drop catch (sorry) and some short bowling meant that Elvaston got up a head of steam and were rocketing towards a big total. However some late wickets and tight bowling meant that after their 10 overs Elvaston made 158.

A pretty big total but it could have been worse. Ed and Shyam batted with calm and skill as the fast bowlers whipped in. Both retired on 25 and the middle order carried on the charge. William, Rich and George made good contributions before Ed and Shyam headed back in. The total was getting a little out of sight and with the wicket of Ed we were dead. Shyam batted on to guide us past the 125 mark and the 3rd bonus point. Failand finished on 138 and picked up 5 bonus points.

Game 2 saw F&P against Little Eaton and that man from the bar. We opted to bowl first again and headed back into the gym smelling slightly worse. George picked up 2 early wickets and with Richie bowling with pace the portly men in bat were well off the mark of a good total. Further tight bowling from Shyam, Ed and especially Bobbie meant that Little Eaton were cleaned out for 60. To get the full bonus points we needed to get the runs in 5 overs. With Shyam and Ed opening with their soft hands and skin we looked good. We reached the total in 4 overs and Shyam's good hair line was complimented by all.

While all this was going on Dave was visiting the national pornography museum of Austria.

We now had to wait until 9am the next morning to face Seebahn CC for a place in the semi finals. Meanwhile Ed had been snatched by a team with only 5 players and very nearly upset the tournament and the hosts by knocking out Vienna CC. Ed carried on making runs and compiled over 100 on the first day.

The team headed home for washing and preparation for the formal dinner. Chalky was first in the shower, followed by Shyam. Then Rich, George, Ed and Will. We all left the shower at around the same time. We met Bob for a beer in the bar and headed off to the all you can eat castle.

Much beer, food, cigars and speeches followed. George was nicknamed the Tescos man because of his stripy red shirt by some numskull on another table and one man told me that Ed had the softest hands he had ever seen. He was referring to his batting I assume. However I saw the man smiling to him self when he had seen Ed wash his hands after using the toilet. Dave told some stories, George made a speech and William and Bob got involved in a disgusting conversation with Elvaston that made everyone a little uncomfortable.

The evening was a success and some of the F&P gang headed off for further entertainment. We were joined by the young lads from Elvaston who became so excited by the prospect of a night club that they were refused entry from one location and only just made it into another. After some 'getting to know you chat' with these people we realised that neither side really wanted to know each other and we all went home.

8.00am F&P are all up and ready to go. Although Hugo was sorely missed this year it does make things easier in the mornings. We were there before the opposition and even the organisers. We won the toss and put them in. Some excellent bowling from Richie meant that they were on the rocks from the start. George, Shyam and Bob bowled well and Seebahn CC were pegged back. Ed lost it a bit and started bowling bouncers (or the reverse full ball as it is known these days.) Seebahn made it to a tricky 90 runs as Failand cleared up the tail.

All that was needed to reach the semi finals was a win. Again Shyam and Ed started well and with will and Rich batting well we were firmly on the way. Rich finished the game with a 6 and F&PCC were in the semi final against the hosts and last years winners Vienna CC.

We were looking good. Too good. People were a little surprised at how sober and focused we were. We had a long wait until our next match so we all relaxed. Some people read, some went for a walk, some slept and Chalky wrote a song. Ed meanwhile was playing for another team and luckily engineered a loss while scoring an unbeaten 35 which meant that we avoided a situation where he would have to decide who he really played for.

In the first semi we watched Elvaston crash out to Berkeleys CC who had been bowled out for 29 earlier in the day. This was a surprise and meant that if we could reach the final it was anybodies game.

The crowd was on our side. Ed was on our side. We were put into the field/gym and we began. Our bowling once again started well. Tight and straight. The game was halted periodically as the scorers did not know the bowlers names.. If only we had brought a scorer of our own. (Where had Chlaky gone? we thought.) An early LBW from George and excellent bowling from Richie put F&P on the way. VCC's extremely good batting and experience started to show and they charged on and on. Ed began bowling like a maniac and their long batsman were in their stride. However some late wickets and valuable dot balls meant that VCC ended on 154 for 4 after 10 overs.

Shyam and Ed bravely strapped on their pads and George and Will slipped in their boxes. Out they went. A good start and much cheering from the balcony (lead by Chalky who had returned) lifted Failand's spirits. Ed was retired on 25 and in came Will. Disaster struck as Shyam was caught at mid on for 21, his first dismissal. Richie strode in. Failand were on target and going well. Will was retired and George and Richie carried on the fight. Rich was caught on the back wall going for a big one and in cam Bob.We now needed about 40 more runs from 3 overs. Easy. After some good running with Bob George was roofed and back in came Ed.

F&P now needed 24 of 2 with Will in the hutch. a 3 here and a 2 there put us closer and closer. 4 needed of the last 2 balls! Ed on strike. They ran. But the ball did not hit the wall! only 2. So last ball of the game. Bob on strike. 2 needed to tie but we had lost less wickets. 2 needed.

Bob drops it at his feet and Ed is through before the ball hits the ground. Bob sprints toward the other end. With no one backing up the bowler very slowly picks up the ball takes aim and throws. Bob is run out by half a foot. VCC go nuts and a lovely picture is taken of Bob lying face down, full stretch next to the shattered stumps with golden clad VCC players leaping around! Dam!!

So near and yet so far. As luck would have it VCC ended up in the same situation in the final. 4 off 2 balls needed. They lost. Berkeleys CC won the Wintercup 2009.

A rubbish raffle followed and a presentation. Ed won player of the tournament by unanimous vote for scoring so many runs. 7 games and over 200 runs. (It turns out that many people didn't realise that this man was playing for 2 teams and thought that they just looked the same.) We headed home rehashing the last over in our minds.

We will have our revenge in April! A cool evening of disgusting burgers, wet curry and missing fish and chips followed as all the teams joined for one last evening. Chalky made his annual speech about the trip, the Queen and the man of the tour. (In the absence of John Bach the honor fell to Shyam) The speech ended 'I have delivered this speech...... like a midwife!

The next day we said goodbye to Dave and Shyam and headed off to Budapest. Having dealt with 4 very annoying overly helpful/talkative/friendly/complicated people we managed to check into the local baths. We boiled, cooled, steamed and sweated our bodies and Bob played a little chess against a man who should really see a doctor about the quality of his skin. A light lunch, some coffee and manic repacking of our bags at the airport finished a very enjoyable tour.

We swore blind that we would return in April and avenge our defeat! Swore blind. We were then told to stop swearing as there were children about. VCC are extremely hospitable, great fun and very good cricketers and cricketing folk. So those of you who are coming in April get ready for a fantastic experience!! Those who are not there are still spaces available - sign up now. 24,25,26 April 2009.

Thanks to all who took part in the Wintercup 2009!