THE 2005 SEASON

INDOOR NETS
Our indoor teams at Bristol and Taunton have been playing since September but the first date in the New Year 2005 is Tuesday 1st February when indoor club nets start at The Downs School, Wraxall (just off the Bristol - Clevedon main road). Indoor nets continue right through until 5th April 2005 EVERY TUESDAY 8.00pm to 9.30pm.

The nets fee is £3.50 per session, payable in cash on the night - no pay, no play.

It is hoped that Paul Nice (who kindly agreed at the last AGM to serve on the selection committee for 2005) will be able to co-ordinate attendances at winter indoor nets so email Paul on paul@fiftyeightgpr.freeserve.co.uk as soon as possible to confirm your attendance at the first session.

As always, Treasurer Lyndon Prendergast will arrange collection of payments on the night so remember to bring him your cash and not your excuses.

TEAMS AND FIXTURES
There will be a full, action-packed line-up of club teams, fixtures and events during 2005 including the following:

- Club outdoor practice on our grass and artificial pitches EVERY TUESDAY at 6.15pm from 12th April to end August

- 1st XI competing on Saturdays in Division 1 of the Bristol & District League (just having missed promotion last year) led by Monty Desai with Vice-Captain Ed Humphreys

- 2nd XI competing on Saturdays in the Senior Division of the Bristol & District League (having gained promotion last year) led by Henry Humphreys with Vice-Captain Bernard Raines

- 3rd XI (North Somerset XI) competing on Sundays in Division 5A of the North Somerset League (having just missed promotion by taking 3rd spot last year) led by Steve Pursey with Vice-Captain Phil Dungey

- Sunday XI led by Tony Bamber with Vice-Captain Richard Whittington with a full list of competitive fixtures from June to August including against oppositions from Somerset, Devon and big-name local teams

- Midweek XI playing oppositions home and away including entertaining touring sides often with 2.00pm starts on Mondays and Thursdays

- Cup 1st XIs competing in the National Village Knockout Tournament on Sunday afternoons starting with Brompton Ralph (H) on 8th May, as well as the 20 over knockout Bristol & District Cup and the Somerset Cup usually on Wednesday evenings from late May

- Six a side team competing in the Shirehampton Sixes and other local six-a-side outdoor tournaments

- Junior XIs competing at U13 and U11 levels in the North Somerset Youth Cricket League (U13s on Thursdays and U11s on Sundays)

- Bristol Indoor VI competing in the Bristol Indoor League from September to March

- Taunton Indoor VI competing in the Somerset Indoor League and Cup from September to March

- Pirates of the Caribbean extravaganza on Friday 1st July 2005 at 7.30pm at the club ground (start knitting your costumes now!)

- Fully licensed bar in purpose-built pavilion set in rural surrounds yet only 4 miles south of Bristol.

OUR 21ST CENTURY APPROACH
2005 is going to be a challenging year for everyone who wants to play a part in the success of those of the club's teams that are involved in league and cup fixtures.

To start at the top, in a visionary recognition that the challenges of this new century will be faced from the east of this global village, in particular China and India, at its October 2004 AGM club members unanimously elected Monty Desai of Bombay as 1st XI Captain. Monty first played for the club in 1999 and it was felt that his single-minded pursuit of excellence, physical, technical and mental, could mould that body of feckless low-achievers who call themselves our 1st XI into a rapid-reaction unit of top-class, committed spotsmen worthy of admiration both on and off the field in double-quick time.

Good luck there Monty!

So from now on it's going to be cross-country running, alcohol-free beverages, smokeless-zone, yogic posture, early morning press-ups as well as weekly nets for all who aspire to serve under our club league team captains in 2005.

God help you!

As this regime takes hold, I confidently anticipate that our league and cup oppositions will be left reeling and scattered to the wind like confetti on a May Sunday morning.

There will be no hiding place for them or indeed our own players.

There will be a players meeting at 8.00pm on Thursday 14th April 2005 at the Pavilion when the captains will supply details of what is expected for the coming season, Monty Desai will address those present by video link from Bombay and Chairman Richard Whittington will lead those present in rhythmic chanting to the tune of "We are the Champions".

More steps have already been taken towards the pursuit of excellence:

- 1st XI Vice-Captain Ed Humphreys has been in Sri Lanka for a month participating in dedicated training schedules and yoga

- Ground Officer Paul Bachelor and Chairman Richard Whittington are in the West Indies on tour with Somerset Over 50s XI

- Youth player of the year 2004 Charlie Walker is starting indoor U13 winter squad training with Somerset with a view to hopefully captaining that side in 2005

- Ed Smith has gone to New Zealand to experience extremes of wilderness existence

- Ed Humphreys is arranging to spend a month's pre-season planning with Mentor Monty Desai in Bombay in January/February 2005.

These are exciting times for the club as we build on last year's promotion by the 2nd XI by climbing up the divisions on all fronts.

But let's not forget the equally important role of the 3rd XI (North Somerset XI) for whom winning is not everything but who still play to win; also the Midweek XI and the Sunday XI who play to a standard and with an intensity to accommodate the varying strengths of their oppositions throughout the season.

So get ready for a cracking* season next year with Failand & Portbury CC. Any enquiries as to detailed requirements should be directed to my long-serving assistant Charles Cheesewire.
*cracking or cracking up? Ed.

Meanwhile I wish you a Merry Christmas and a pulsating New Year!

Marvin Straightjacket
Club Supremo 2005